|
Monday, 30 April 2007 07:17 |
Have you ever taken a close look at what is important to you including what motivates and drives your behavior?
Every person has expectations that influence their attitudes, choices and reactions. Expectations are what we believe and anticipate should happen in any given situation. Expectations may include what we achieve, how we behave and even how we look.
From an article on the Sony Ericsson web site
Positive or Negative
Expectations and pressures may be positive, a challenge that drives success. Alternatively, Expectations may be unrealistic, creating negatives thoughts, feelings and behaviors that cause stress.
Many find expectations, their own and others', to be stressful. In the 2004 WTA Tour 10-Year Age Eligibility Review, 'expectations' was rated in the Top 5 stressors by players, former players and all other groups surveyed (e.g. coaches, agents, Federations, medical experts).
Pressures and expectations do not have to be stressful. Appropriate reflection and response to the demand in your life can promote positive outcomes and greater achievement.
The Evolution of Expectations
Expectations, developed throughout your life, are influenced by many people:
Individual: Sometimes the demands you put upon yourself are the most unrealistic.
Family: Parents and family assert a strong, life-long influence that may result in family expectations being established as part of your belief system: how to dress, religious beliefs, acceptable behavior, definitions of independence, definitions for success in life.
Friends and colleagues: Your peer group is often a powerful persuader of your attitudes, especially in your teenage and young adult years (from 12-25 years old).
Culture and Society: The power of the media, advertising and popular culture creates expectations of how you should look, behave and what products you buy.
How High is the Bar?
Generally, expectations cause stress when they are set so high they are unrealistic or unachievable. For example, it is:
Unrealistic to expect to win every match you play.
Realistic to achieve performance goals within a match.
Unreasonable to expect to perform at your best when you do not follow a balanced eating plan which contains the correct nutrients and energy.
Reasonable to anticipate you will perform at your best when you are well hydrated and you eat balanced and nutritious food.
You have realistic and rational expectations when you truthfully assess if conditions are favorable and you have the talent, resources, motivation and alternate plans (in case of setbacks or failure) to reach your goals.
Set the bar too high and you risk physical, mental and emotional stress when you don't make it.
EXPECT YOUR BEST!
Your Own Expectations
As the popular saying states, "sometimes we are our own worst enemy"… Avoid believing in unrealistic, incorrect and unachievable expectations, like:
I will get others' approval only if I meet these high expectations
I must set my expectations really high or I won't amount to much in tennis or life
I must strive to be perfect
I should be in control of all aspects of my life
I will only be happy when I meet these expectations
I am a failure if I can't achieve this goal I set for myself
Life should be fair
Understand Your Expectations
Understanding your expectations helps you manage them.
Reflect: Use a calm moment to think about the demands and expectations in your life.
Question: Ask yourself, "Is this the only way of seeing the situation? Is it a true and real reflection of it?" Many times, there will be at least one other view you just have not considered.
Accept: We all hold some unrealistic expectations to a degree. Accept that you won't change all of these overnight. Forgive yourself for not being perfect!
Own and be responsible: Choose and adapt expectations to be reasonable and realistic for you. Don't blame others; take responsibility for your choices. Live up to what you want to achieve in life.
"One of the things that my parents have taught me is never to listen to other peoples' expectations. You should live your own life and live up to your own expectations." Tiger Woods, Champion Golfer
Manage Your Expectations
Talk to someone qualified and independent: Express your feelings with someone who is outside your immediate situation. Sometimes a qualified counselor or psychologist may be your best help.
Talk to the person setting unreasonable demands: Many times others may be completely unaware of the pressure they put upon you.
Reset your own unrealistic expectations: Ask yourself if your expectations are sensible and practical. Would you advise a friend to strive for this?
Explore your options: There is always more than one way to reach your desired result. Make sure you have contingency plans and strategies.
|
